It’s been a couple of months since I last posted on here. I finally had the strength to write one. Being vulnerable and to reflect is not an easy thing. It definitely requires alot of strength to look back, to be vulnerable and go through that emotion once again. Anyways, I’m writing this post all the way from Tokyo (maybe that’s why I have the strength to finally write this since I’m away from home). Anyways, let’s deep dive!
I welcomed 2023 with alot of positivity. I set alot of goals that I want to achieve this year for myself. Having a mindset of whatever is meant for me will be; I don’t have to force things. I don’t know if it’s just me, but I find peace in that. I’ve wasted alot of efforts and forced things last year and things ended up not working out.
January had been so good for my soul. I got to meet amazing people from an LGBTQ+ gaming community whom I’ve spent lots of time with for the 2nd half of last year. These people have been there for me, have been my rock through such tough times and pushed me with Love, Jayce. Especially when I struggled alot with depression last year. I didn’t tell alot of my friends that I was struggling because a part of me was ashamed that I was in that state. I felt like no one would really understand my situation. A part of me was ashamed of asking for help, but it was different with this community. They made me feel like I could talk to them with just about anything and for that I’m forever grateful. I don’t think I would be where I’m at right now if it weren’t for them. Not to discount myself too much, but they really helped me. To be able to meet them for the first time was everything I expected it to be and more. I’ve made more friends for life because of a game. I love you guys! You all know who you are. ♥️
February came and boy was it an emotional roller coaster. I don’t know why a part of me hates and loves this month at the same time. It’s also my birthday month and I already know it was going to be an exhausting month. I launched new products, scents, and accepted custom orders that I’ve never done before. I didn’t sell any products the first week of February and It made me doubt my decisions, but that changed over the next couple of weeks. I surrounded myself with the people I love and good energy since I know I was gonna need it. I knew it was going to be an emotional one because my birthday was getting closer. There was a lot of sadness but also gratitude this month. Sadness because of constant reminders of someone who used to be very important in my life (it’s also their birthday month) but also gratitude because I have such amazing people in my life and I have many things to be grateful for. I’ve actually been thinking a lot about how blessed I am to have so many people that support and love me. I feel like I’ve built a village of support without knowing it by just being me. I’m so grateful for them. I must’ve done something right.
Now, I’m in Tokyo traveling again after 3 years, getting inspired and doing something I love even though my back injury has been hurting so much, but Tylenol has been helping with that! This is something I was afraid would happen and it is. C’est la vie.
Anyways, I cannot wait to see what the rest of this year brings. I’m manifesting good things for myself. Slowly but surely and with kindness, always. Also to constantly remind myself that when things get hard to not get stuck on the side of the river. It still feels surreal that I’m in Tokyo right now. A city that I’ve been wanting to visit for years now. I’ve met amazing people here and cannot wait to meet more!
It’s okay to feel sad and grateful at the same time; something my therapist told me.
じゃあね
Love, Jayce