I noticed something about myself today.
Nothing dramatic happened. It was just something I noticed in myself.
Whenever I start liking someone, there’s a part of me that kind of wakes up.
It’s subtle, but I feel it.
I want to talk to them more.
I notice how often they reply.
I become more aware of their energy.
And if I’m being really honest… there’s a part of me that wants reassurance.
A few years ago, I wouldn’t have questioned it.
I would’ve just followed that feeling.
Overthinking.
Trying to keep the connection going.
Adjusting myself…
I used to lose myself in that.
But today felt different.
I noticed those thoughts… and I didn’t act on them.
And that made me realize something.
That’s not me.
That’s something I learned.
Probably from a time when things didn’t feel certain.
Where I had to stay aware, stay connected, stay a step ahead.
And I’m actually grateful for that version of me.
It protected me.
But I don’t need to be that version anymore.
Because I know who I am.
I’m someone who makes people feel seen, heard, and loved.
And I have friendships that reflect that, which I’m really grateful for.
So it made me question…
why do I start to feel a little anxious the moment I like someone?
That’s not who I am.
That’s just something that comes up in me.
And for the first time, I feel like I can separate the two.
I can feel the urge to reach out, to check, to get reassurance…
and still choose to stay grounded.
I can let someone meet me where I’m at,
instead of trying to meet them everywhere.
I can care without overextending.
Be open without losing myself.
And maybe that’s the lesson for me right now.
Not to love less.
Not to close myself off.
Just to stay rooted in who I am… even when something new begins.
Because I don’t need to prove my worth by how much I give.
I just need to let the right person meet me there.
Still learning.